Here are the reasons why Albion is the best house.

1. Dinner every night
Albion house knew who was making and cleaning up after dinner for the entire semester within the first week. And we did it, too. Albion House was the unrecognized gourmet establishment at Williams-Mystic. Some houses had really gourmet food sometimes and not so good food most of the time. But we had solidly good food all the time.

2. Food on Sale
If it was on sale and we would eat it, Valerie bought it. Some examples follow. This also led to (4) below.
Klondike Bars
We had perhaps 60 Klondike bars over the course of the semester, because sometimes they were on sale. We had regular, dark chocolate, crunch, and peppermint patty-inspired, and we had them a lot of the time. There is a malicious rumor circulating, which I propogated after I deduced it by subtraction, that Valerie once consumed seven Klondike bars in two days.
Grapefruit
Bags of grapefruit were two for one, so we got four. Two weeks before the end of the semester, we had 31 new grapefruit in the recycling room. Valerie and Ashley love grapefruit, but they just couldn't quite keep up with the magnitude of the task. But we ate a lot of grapefruit in the last couple of weeks.

3. Iambic Pentameter with Sexual Innuendo on the Refrigerator:

And I quote:

Hadst I my lady yielding wickedly
I'd make full haste lest soon she idle be
But could my saucy tale know wanton grace
If his drunk lordship warrant yonder dream
Like merry codpiece wilt he give me hence
And please her vulgar bosom slander'd here

& ere thine farwell vow you speaketh
The loathsome night comes hither to torment
And lazy winter will besmirch death

This poem is by Ariel and Andrew. It's Hilary's Shakespeare-inspired magnets, and it's our refrigerator.

4. Grocery Fantasies
Some houses with leftover money would be more likely to say, "great, we have all this money left over, let's go out to dinner every night." Not so with Albion House. "Great, we have all this extra money, let's go get awesome groceries!" So we made a grocery fantasy list. I got fresh blueberries, sushi, and Cracklin Oat Bran. We had six pints of Ben & Jerry's and one of Godiva in the freezer. We had brie and crusty French bread whenever we wanted it. Basically, it was like fantasy land, and everyone else wanted to be us.

5. Mary
We had the best advisor, because we had Mary. Mary made the whole program run smoothly. Plus, she came over to lunch and dinner and she thought our food was excellent. She is taking tap dancing lessons, which further cements her reputation as the best advisor. Also, we got her a top hat, a boa, and a cane to further her career as a tap dancer, which further cements our reputation as the best house ever.